| “ | It's Captain Darling to you! | „ |
| ~ Darling's catchphrase. |
Captain Kevin Darling, often referred to as Darling (much to his embarassment), is the main antagonist from the final instalment of the Blackadder saga, Blackadder Goes Forth. He is the arch-enemy of the series main protagonist, Captain Edmund Blackadder. His surname was used to great comedy effect.
As the cowardly assistant/valet to the incompetent General Melchett, Darling recognised Blackadder's attempts to swindle his boss in order to try and escape from the front line. Darling would do everything he could to foil these schemes, ensuring that Blackadder either returned to or remained firmly within the trenches. On a couple of occassions however, he did try to manipulate the situation to ensure Blackadder's death, thus establishing himself as an antagonist. Their rivalry continued all the way through until the final scenes of the last episode, when the two men found themselves in a life or death predicament.
He was portrayed by British actor and long-running Blackadder star Tim McInnerny, who had previously portrayed Lord Percy in the first two seasons of the show.
Appearance[]
Darling is a thin man of average height, being around the same height as George and Blackadder, but taller than Baldrick and shorter than Melchett. He has receding curly brown hair and a large mustache. Darling's most distinguishing feature is his eye twitch, which usually happens when someone says his surname, says something annoying or when he is particularly scared.
Kevin Darling is almost always seen in military attire. The sole exception is episode five General Hospital, where he wore striped pajamas's. Though he usually wears a military hat, in episode six, Goodbyeee he swapped it for a metal helmet.
Personality[]
| “ | You're a damn fine chap, not a pen-pushing, desk-sucking, blotter-jotter like Darling here, eh Darling? | „ |
| ~ General Melchett praising Blackadder, whilst insulting Darling |
Kevin Darling is arrogant, malicious, and cowardly individual, who takes delight in his position at the chateau, since his primary interests revolve around self-preservation. Despite knowing about the full severity and pointless suffering caused by the war, Darling shows little concern for the men he sends to their deaths. This is especially true for his rival Captain Edmund Blackadder and, to a lesser extent, the men under Edmund's command. Darling's greatest fear is being dismissed from his position and sent to the front lines. Not wanting to give his boss, General Melchett any excuse to do so, Darling tolerates all of the abuse thrown at him and is always seen working very hard, no matter how tedious or embarrassing the job. When his worst fear was finally realized, Darling originally went into shock. When the time came to go over the top however, he stoically accepted his fate, proving that he did have some measure of bravery after all.
Story[]
Past[]
Not much is known about Darling's background. From the little information that is known, Darling appears to hail from a working-class background. In the last two episodes of the show, "General Hospital" and "Goodbyeee...", Darling mentions that he was born in Croydon, South London, and played as wicket keeper for his local cricket team, "The Croydon Gentlemen". He originally worked for Prat & Son's and has a girlfriend named Doris, whom he hopes to marry one day.
Whilst it is not specified how or when he joined the British Army, it most likely happened during the mass recruiting in 1914. Darling either had enough clout, or was able to distinguish himself enough to earn a promotion to the rank of Captain. By the start of the series Darling had been promoted to the long-suffering personal secretary, aide and confidant of the incompetent General Melchett, who is clearly not on Darling's intellectual level.
Blackadder Goes Forth[]
Captain Darling appeared in all six episodes of Blackadder Goes Forth and was usually (but not always) seen in the company of General Melchett. Aside from assisting the General, Darling's usual antics involve trying to foil Blackadder's latest attempt to escape from the trenches, in which he is usually successful. Blackadder finds a way to get even with him, however.
Episode One: Captain Cook[]
| “ | Good luck against those elephants ... | „ |
| ~ Captain Darling to Blackadder after the latter is ordered to advance on the enemy |
Captain Kevin Darling was first introduced in 'Captain Cook' when Blackadder is called to Staff HQ for a debriefing by Melchett. After sharing some classified information and military tactics with the main protagonist the General got down to business. He ordered Blackadder to find an artist from amongst his men, declaring that the successful candidate will publish the front page of the next issue of 'King & Country' the famous war magazine. Recognising an opportunity to escape from the trenches, Blackadder manipulated events to make it seem as though he was the best person for the job.
Darling accompanied Melchett to the front, in order to examine the contenders artwork. He immediately saw through Blackadder's deception and tried to call him out on it. Recalling an earlier comment from Blackadder, Kevin pointed out that the illustration featured Blackadder himself, who had previously mentioned that he was no good at painting. He also accurately said that the painting was signed by George, who was the real artist. Edmund managed to outwit Darling, by claiming that he was feigning modesty, that the picture was a self portrait and was dedicated to King George. After effectively being told to shut up by Melchett, Darling had no choice but to allow Blackadder to accompany them back to HQ. There, Darling quickly changed his tune.
Back at the chateau, Melchett revealed that the real purpose of Edmund mission was to find somebody who could accurately draw representations of the German's positions. That person, Blackadder, was ordered to climb over the top that very night, where in Blackadder's words they will "sit in no-mans land painting pictures of the Germans". Left with no choice, Blackadder originally complied taking George and Baldrick along with him. Whilst out in the field however, Blackadder had a stroke of inspiration. The three of them could cheat death by producing fake pictures back at the dug out, in a bid to fool Melchett. Although Darling was not fooled, the General was, but he still ordered the advance anyway. Barely able to contain his glee, Kevin sarcastically wishes Blackadder luck.
In the end, however, Blackadder managed to get the last laugh. Thanks to a helpful comment from Baldrick, Blackadder devised an elaborate scheme, so that he, George and Baldrick could escape death for a second time. Telephoning Captain Darling, Blackadder tricked him into sending the General's cook away. He and the others subsequently return to the chateau that very evening (i.e. the night of the advance) posing as Italian chefs. As a further act of revenge, they served the General and his cowardly assistant one of Baldrick's sickening meals.
Episode 2: Corporal Punishment[]
| “ | Captain Blackadder, as of this moment you may consider yourself under arrest. Do you know what the penalty is for disobeying orders, Blackadder? ... No, court-martial followed by immediate death by firing squad | „ |
| ~ Darling informs Blackadder of his potential fate whilst arresting him |
'Corporal Punishment' is arguably Darling's most villainous role in the entire series.
Presumably acting upon the orders of General Melchett, Captain Darling repeatedly tries to contact Captain Blackadder ordering an advance. He does so no fewer than three times using a telephone, telegram and carrier pigeon in order. Blackadder of course, ignores all of these. He deliberately sabotages the telephone call, falsely claiming that he did not hear Kevin's message properly. Edmund then throws away the telegram, telling George that it was addressed to somebody else (Catpain Blackudder) and then shoots the carrier pigeon delivering the orders. Unfortunately for Edmund, this action comes back to haunt him, as he learns far too late that shooting carrier pigeons is now a court-martial offence. In order to avoid trouble, he decides to "eat the evidence for lunch" whilst ordering Baldrick and George to keep quiet about it.
Things only get worse when, within the hour, Darling and Melchett venture to the front lines to find out what the heck is going on. Here it emerges that the pigeon Blackadder shot was the Generals own beloved pet, Speckled Jim. Not long afterwards, Darling manages to uncover Blackadder's deceit and actions, thanks in no small part due to Baldrick and George's incompetence, who took Blackadders orders to literally. He has to restrain Melchett (who is more concerned about the death of Speckled Jim than Blackadder's insubordination) from beating Edmund to death, arguing that they should do things by the book. Smirking triumphantly, Kevin Darling personally placed Blackadder under arrest, and (as seen in the above quote) gleefully informed him that if convicted his fellow Captain would be executed by firing squad.
Darling serves as the Council for Prosecution, at Blackadders trial. He sarcastically wished Blackadder luck before the proceedings, before telling the accused that he was doomed, and that he personally was having "enormous fun". Edmund was originally not to concerned, stating that a reasonable judge was sure to let him off. This only made Darling smile more, since the said judge was Melchett, at which point Blackadder had to agree with Darling that he was doomed.
Before the proceedings began, Kevin asked that George (Blackadders incompetent defense council) be fined for "wasting the courts time", which was granted. To everybody's astonishment, Georges first act was to call Captain Darling forward as a defence witness. Kevin of course, did nothing to help Blackadders case. On the contrary, when questioned he quickly offered up further evidence of Blackadder's bad behaviour. He subseuqently had Baldrick evicted from the courtroom, after the private once again took Blackadder's orders (to deny everything) way to literally.
After Georges feeble and completely useless attempts to save Blackadder, Darling took his turn. In contrast, his case was a lot more straight forward. Calling Melchett to the stand, the Captain reduced the General to tears by talking about Speckled Jim, then made him angry by talking about how Blackadder killed the pigeon. This quickly ensured Blackadder's conviction and he was sentenced to death.
However, Blackadder once again managed to cheat death at the last minute by the timely intervention of George's uncle Rupert. As the Minister of War, Rupert had the power and authority to rescind Melchett's orders and Blackadder was released without incident. It is not shown how Darling reacted to this, but he was probably very angry and disappointed.
Darling telephoned the front one last time at the end of the episode. He spoke directly to Blackadder, who smugly told him that he had friends in high places. In reality Edmund had only escaped by the skin of his teeth, since George and Baldrick got drunk instead of messaging Rupert, who discovered the incident by pure coincidence. Aware that he would not be able to worm his way out of it this time, Blackadder reluctantly listened to Darling's instructions. He was soon singing a different tune, when Kevin asked for two volunteers for a suicidal mission into No-Mans Land. Smiling delightedly, Blackadder vengefully volunteered George and Baldrick for failing to help him.
Episode 3: Major Star[]
| “ | Melchett: Honestly Darling, you really are the most graceless, dim-witted pumpkin I ever met. Darling:I don't think you should say that to her. | „ |
| ~ Darling helps Melchett ready for a date with George |
Darling had a somewhat reduced role in 'Major Star'. He missed the performance organised by Blackadder and his men, which was mostly a disaster, due to a ton of paperwork. Kevin did however, have to help the General to prepare for his date with the leading 'Georgina', who was actually George dressed up. Dressed in his finest suit, Melchett (who was in love) rehearsed a rousing, affectionate speech for Georgina. Unfortunately, as he referred to her as 'Darling' the Captain initially thought that the General was talking to him (leading to great comic effect). He was visibly relieved when Melchett made it clear who he was actually referring to, though not without a final misunderstanding (as seen in the section quote).
In order to avoid angering and hurting the General feelings by discovering "Georgina's" identity, after the date, Blackadder claimed that had "Georgina" had died after accidentally entering No Mans Land. This prompted Darling to point out that without a leading lady, Blackadder's show could not go on tour and he would have to remain in the trenches. Thinking quickly, Edmund used Melchett's personal driver, Bob, to fill in for Georgina. Unfortunately, whilst the rest of the men loved her performance, the General, who did not realise that Bob was a woman, took it as a personal offence.
Darling happily informed Blackadder that his cabaret had been pulled from a potential tour, personally tearing up the tickets in front of his stunned rival. He also read a telegram from Charlie Chaplin, who Blackadder had wrote a scathing message to earlier in the episode, informing him that he had been demoted to the humiliating role of projectionist. Blackadder gave Darling a small comeuppance by giving him a dead slug that Baldrick used as a fake mustache in his act, claiming its a licorice alsort.
Episode 4: Private Plane[]
| “ | I shouldn't worry to much, Blackadder. Flying's all about navigation. As long as you've got a good navigator I'm sure you'll be fine (he chortles loudly) | „ |
| ~ Darling mocking Blackadder |
'Private Plane' showed Darling trying to prevent Blackadder from transferring to the Royal Flying Corp, to which he was unsuccessful. Kevin was jubilant, however, to learn that the group Edmund, George and Baldrick had joined is called the 'Twenty-Minuters' because that is the average life expectancy for a new pilot. He sniggered audibly when Baldrick was revealed to be Blackadder's navigator after mocking him, see the above quote.
When Blackadder later crashed behind enemy lines, George went to Darling to ask for help but was refused. This led to a heated argument between the Lieutenant and Captain, in which George insulted Darling for his position behind the lines. This prompted Darling to threaten him with a charge of insubordination, which the unconcerned Lieutenant said he would gladly face. Melchett showed up and managed to stop the bickering before things could escalate further. After spelling out the reality of Blackadders futile situation, the General tried to reassure George that his friends sacrifice was not in vain. Melchett had Darling tell them the latest report from the field, and was informed, with the help of a scale model map (size 1:1) that Blackadder's sacrifice allowed the allies to recapture "Seventeen square feet".
Despite this, George was still determined to try and help Edmund and Baldrick. With a bit of help from Squadron commander Lord Flashheart, he managed to rescue the pair, reluctantly in Blackadder's case. The enraged Captain and Squadron Commander then returned to HQ in order to confront Kevin Darling for his lack of co-operation. Darling was busy cleaning the office, when his rival barged in unannounced. He then turned around to find Flashheart standing on his desk, who demanded to know why he didn't help Blackadder in his hour of need. Though Darling tried to fob his way out of trouble by saying that it was not practical, Flashheart was unappeased. He head-butted Kevin, knocking him out and leaving him sprawled unconscious across his the desk. When Melchett came in moments later, he simply told his comatose aid not to slouch.
Episode 5: General Hospital[]
| “ | This is completely ridiculous, Blackadder! You can't suspect me I've only just arrived | „ |
| ~ Captain Darling about to be 'interrogated' by his rival |
Things got serious in 'General Hospital' when it appeared as if the British army had been infiltrated by a German spy. Sources traced a security "leak" as it was called to a nearby field hospital. Melchett wanted Blackadder to figure out who this spy was. Darling (who had searched Blackadder earlier) made sure to deliberately limit Blackadder's time to three weeks instead of the six months originally asked for, but still did not trust Blackadder to fulfill his duty. Kevin asked for permission to go to the hospital himself in order to keep an eye on him, which Melchett happily agreed to, declaring, "What spy on our own spy, as he searches for their spy? Yes, why not. It sounds rather fun". In order to make sure things looked convincing, the General noted that Darling would need some kind of injury. To do this, he then deliberately shot Kevin in the foot.
When the injured Darling turned up at the ward, Blackadder could barely contain his laughter at what had happened. Prompted Kevin threatened Blackadder, warning him that he would not be laughing if he did not find the spy. Blackadder assured him he intended to start straight away and proceeded to interrogate Darling, following a comical manner earlier suggested by the General ("tie your suspect down on a chair with a potty on his head" then feed his privates to a cocker spaniel). Blackadder of course, knew full well that Darling was not the spy but did it anyway because he did not like him. He deliberately asked Darling unfavoruable questions, before utilizing a good cop - bad cop routine. Much to Blackadders delight, this interrogation reduced Darling to a hysterical wreck, leaving the other Captain completely humiliated.
At the end of the episode, Darling tried to apprehend the man he believed to be the real spy, who had entered the office and was walking towards the General. However, the man in question turned out to be a British spy, and the one who'd tipped Melchett off about the security leak in the first place. Before leaving the General was quick to note that Darling was a complete fool. Shortly afterwards, however, the two Captains discovered that George was the one who had been leaking the confidential information to one of his German uncles. Aware of what this signified, Darling smugly asked the horrified Blackadder who should inform the General. The pair were last seen racing off to inform Melchett of this development.
Episode 6: Goodbyeee[]
Penultimate visit to the trenches[]
In the season finale, 'Goodbyeee', Captain Darling once again telephoned Blackadder. He informed his adversary that he and his men would advance on the enemy the following morning. This prompted another escape attempt on Blackadders part. Using an old trick from the Sudan, Edmund put his underpants on his head and stuck two pencils up his nose, then claimed he had gone insane.
Falling for this, George telephoned Melchett, who along with Darling came down to the trenches with a straitjacket. Blackadder's scheme was foiled, since the General was aware of this trick and admitted he had previously executed an entire platoon for it. This left Darling with an opportunity to insult Blackadder, when the General mentioned a previous campaign. Edmund got his revenge by having Baldrick serve Darling a foul cup of coffee (made from mud, dandruff and saliva). Darling originally mistook it for cappuccino and nearly vomited when he drank it.
A change of fortunes[]
| “ | No, no - not a word, Kevin. I know what you want to say. I know. Goodbye, Kevin Darling (salutes) | „ |
| ~ General Melchett's last words to Darling before sending him to the front lines. Blackadder Goes Forth, Episode 6. |
Later that evening, Melchett found Darling sitting at his desk in the chateau office, unable to sleep. After exchanging a few words about the impending push, the two men shared a genuine heart to heart moment. Melchett admitted that he really appreciated everything that Darling had done for him over the years and that he had come to view him as if he was his son, albeit an illegitimate and detested one. As such, the General had come to think that he was holding Kevin back and wanted to do what he thought was best for him.
Melchett then revealed, to Darling's astonishment, that he had arranged a little surprise for the Captain. He proudly handed over a piece of paper, only to take it back a moment later after realising that he'd given Kevin the wrong gift, (a postal order for ten shillings, which was actually a wedding present for his god son). Shuffling through the rest of his papers, Melchett quickly produced the correct document and handed it over. When Darling looked at the form, however, he thought that the General had made another mistake. The file was a commission for the front line that would put its owner at the forefront of the charge taking place that very morning. Dismissing it with a laugh, Darling tried to hand the notice back, only for Melchett to happily confirm that this was the real gift!
As the General monologued, apologizing for not letting Darling take part in "the fun and games", he did not notice the color drain from Kevin Darling's face or the way the younger man's eye twitched nervously. The Captain's expression morphed into one of complete horror as he realised that this was no mistake. His worst fear had finally come true and the General had just handed him an informal (albeit completely unintentional) death sentence. Trembling with fear and barely able to speak, Darling pleaded with Melchett to change his mind. As politely as possible, he tried to turn down the offer, struggling to make it clear that he did not want to leave the chateau. When that failed, he stated outright that he had no desire to go into battle. Unfortunately, the General misinterpreted Darling's fear and plea's as concern for his own well being. Even when the now weeping Kevin pleaded on his knees not to be sent away, Melchett refused to hear him out, failed to recognise his former clerks genuine terror and jumped to completely the wrong conclusion.
Before Darling could protest further, Melchett revealed that he had already taken care of all the arrangements, before calling in the driver who would take Darling to the front. Turning around, the completely terrified Darling beheld the man that would lead him to his doom. Desperate, Darling made one last attempt to plead his life, but Melchett silenced him at the first syllable. Claiming that he knew what Darling intended to say, the General gave Darling a final salute and bade him farewell. Recognising that there really was no way of getting out of the situation, the defeated and completely deflated Kevin returned the gesture. With that, Melchett retired for the evening, not knowing or caring that he had just condemned his loyal aide to almost certain death.
The Big Push[]
| “ | Thank God! We lived through it! The Great War 1914 - 1917. | „ |
| ~ Captain Kevin Darling's last words |
Despite his personal feelings, Captain Kevin Darling nevertheless complied with the General's orders. When he arrived at the dugout early the next morning, however, his usual cockiness was completely gone and in its place was a feeling of resignation and terror. As George saluted him, Captain Darling and Captain Blackadder (who had likewise been unable to escape the trenches) looked at each other. For the first time ever, they addressed each other as equals, with both men making out that they were there of their own volition. Even though they undoubtedly saw through each others lies, they did not call each other out on it. Now, finding themselves in the same predicament, the two men finally put aside their hostilities and stood together as brothers in arms.
George tried to cheer Kevin and everybody else up. He started to proclaim that the four of them were about to undertake a noble mission and would soon be hailed as heroes. However, his attempts at reassurance fell short when he (and Baldrick) finally realized just how dire their situation actually was. As the full gravity of their situation finally hit him, the formerly glory-seeking and eager George finally recognised that in all likelihood he and others weren't going to see this day through. Turning to Darling, Blackadder asked how he was feeling. Kevin admitted that until that morning, he had really thought he was going to make it through the war. He lamented on how he hoped to get back to England, marry Doris, return to his old job and rejoin his cricket team. Kevin closed off this speech by revealing that on his way to the front, he had made a final entry in his diary. It contained a single word, in which Darling cursed his shift in fortunes - "Bugger!"
Despite these fears, when the call to arms finally came, Captain Darling accompanied the others to the line-up. When the allies stopped shelling the enemy position, everybody (except for Blackadder) briefly thought/hoped that the war was over and that peace had finally been restored. They cheered in delight, only for Edmund to inform them that this was not the case. He stated that "even our Generals are not mad enough to shoot their own men", meaning that they were indeed about to go over the top. Marching to the base of the ladders, the despairing Darling waited anxiously. When the whistle finally blew, he and the others climbed over the top and charged towards the enemies position.
What happened next is not clear. Although Captain Kevin Darling's fate is left ambiguous, it is all but confirmed that he did not survive the assault and was more than likely killed in the ensuing gunfire.
Relationships[]
Captain Edmund Blackadder: From the get-go, it is made very clear that Darling shares a mutual hatred with his archenemy, Captain Edmund Blackadder. Whilst the two men share the same rank, intellectual level and understanding about the wasteful tactics used to try and win the war, Blackadder is extremely jealous of Darling's position 35 miles behind the front line. Darling, meanwhile, hates the way Blackadder is always trying to manipulate General Melchett in order to escape from the trenches. Prior to their final scenes together (see in "Goodbyeeee..."), nothing would have pleased Darling more than to see Captain Blackadder getting killed in action. Blackadder himself, does everything he can to humiliate Darling or pay him back for his cowardice.
General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmany Melchett: Due to his position at the chateau, Darling's closest associate Is his superior officer General Melchett. Darling worked as Melchett's assistant and personal aid for most of the series. Despite considering Darling his son (and not a favorite one at that) Melchett does not appear to have a very high opinion of Kevin. He is constantly seen scolding and mocking the younger man, as well as comparing him unfavorably to Blackadder.
Nevertheless, Melchett keeps Darling around because he is very good at his job. It is not clear how Darling obtained his position, but he is very grateful for it, and therefore completely devoted to Melchett. This is demonstrated by the fact that he rarely complains about his job.
George and Baldrick: Due to a lack of screen time, Darling's relationship with the other two main characters is never really explored. On the few occasions that they do interact, it is indicated that they, like Blackadder and Melchett, do not think much of him.
In "Private Plane", Darling and George get into a heated argument about trying to save Blackadder, who has crashed his plane behind enemy lines. When Darling threatens George with a charge of insubordination, George stands his ground and tells Darling that he would rather face the charge than desert his friend. In "Corporal Punishment", Darling convinces Melchett to fine George, who is acting as Blackadder's defense counsel, "for wasting the courts time". This motion is granted, demonstrating that their relationship is one of mutual disdain.
As for Private S. Baldrick, he has no qualms about serving Darling a poisonous meal or cup of coffee in "Captain Cook" and "Goodbyeee", respectively.
Trivia[]
- Darling was created as a way to bring his actor, Tim McInnery, back into the franchise. Alongside fellow Blackadder stars Rowan Atkinson and Tony Robin's (Blackadder and Baldrick respectively) McInnery had been involved with the series from the beginning. Appearing in each season, he originally portrayed the bungling and incompetent Lord Percy for the first two runnings, but refused to reprise the role following Blackadder II because he did not wish to be typecast. When writers Richard Curtis and Ben Elton proposed the role of Kevin Darling, a much more intelligent and competent individual for the final season, McInnery agreed to return.
- According to the Blackadder Making of documentary and Blackadder's Most Cunning Moments, it was Melchett's actor, Stephen Fry who came up with Darling's surname. The writers had some reservations about whether or not the surname would gradually lose its hilarity but Tim McInnery believed it would remain funny and asked that they go ahead with it.
- Kevin Darling is the only character in Blackadder Goes Forth to have a romantic partner via his girlfriend Doris.
- Whilst the rest of the main characters were descended from those of the previous seasons, Captain Kevin Darling (at the time of the shows airing) had no known connection to any of the characters from the earlier installments.
- In the millenium special Blackadder Back and Forth, however, the Darling family was revealed to have both French and English connections. At the Battle of Waterloo, Duc de Darling and the Duke of Darling worked/fought alongside Napoleon and the Duke of Wellington respectively. It can be assumed that Kevin was a descendant of the Duke of Darling.
- The millennium special also revealed that whilst Kevin never married, he fathered at least one child out of wedlock. The proof of this was his descendant Archdeacon Darling.
- Although never confirmed, Blackadder fans have speculated that Darling is a descendant of Lord Percy Percy, since both characters were portrayed by Tim McInnery. If this is indeed the case, it would mean that Percy's relatives lost contact with those of Lord Edmund Blackadder at some point after the Tudor period and gained considerable intelligence through the subsequent generations. The change in surname can easily be explained by an absence of male heirs to carry on Percy's surname.
- For the same reason, Darling might also be a relative of the one-shot character Lord Topper, the ever elusive Scarlett Pimpernel who appeared in the Blackadder the Third episode Nob and Nobility.
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 Neutrals
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The Black Adder Blackadder II Blackadder the Third Blackadder Goes Forth Specials | ||